Edinburgh Fringe: Are these the ten best one-liners ever?

Edinburgh Fringe: Are these the ten best one-liners ever?

ARE you looking for some new one-liners to have your friends in stitches? The top jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe have been released.

Petersborough comedian Darren Walsh scooped the top prize for his German-themed joke and faced stiff competition from his competitors.

Walsh, who won the first British Pun Championship last year, was delighted with his win.

"What a punderful feeling," he said.

Just squeezing into the top ten was a 12-year-old, known as 'Grace the Child', who impressed voters with her Kim Kardashian joke.

The best pun was voted for my viewers of TV channel Dave.

Have a look at the top ten here

1. "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh

2. "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3. "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4. "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham

5. "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green

6. "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson

7. "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry

8. "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane

9. "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery

10. "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." - Grace The Child