Liam Gallagher’s 15 funniest quotes

Liam Gallagher’s 15 funniest quotes

THERE WAS a time, back in the mid 90s, when Oasis were the biggest band on the planet.

After releasing two of the best British albums of the decade, they’d emerged as the biggest UK band since the Beatles by 1996, and Liam Gallagher was right at the heart of the band’s success.

The outspoken, cocky frontman established himself as one of the biggest personalities in British music history, and he remains one of the most quotable men in the industry to this day.

In celebration of the great man’s work, relive 15 of his most incredible quotes ever below:

15. On the paparazzi:

“It’s good people living on your doorstep and looking through your bins. Gives me a kick up the arse. Otherwise I’d just sit around getting fat.”

14. On Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong:

“F**k right off. I’m not having him. I just don’t like his head.”

13. On Victoria Beckham’s plans to write a book:

“She can’t even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book.”

12. On how he beats the blues:

“I suppose I do get sad, but not for too long. I just look in the mirror and go, ‘What a good-looking fuck you are.’”

11. On how was banned from The Groucho Club:

“Gazza was at the bar, using that old joke: ‘D’you want a ‘Roll With It’? D’you want a roll with your soup? So I squirted him with a fire extinguisher.”

DUBLIN, IRELAND - MARCH 5: Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher performs at the Point Theatre March 5, 2003 in Dublin, Ireland. (Photo by Getty Images)

10. On Keith Richards and George Harrison back in the 90s:

“They’re jealous and senile and not getting enough f**king meat pies.”

9. On Wayne Rooney:

“He looks like a f**king balloon with a fucking Weetabix crushed on top. He’s better off as a skinhead, isn’t he?”

8. On Kanye West:

“If I ever win any more f**king awards I’d personally invite him to get up and f**king take my award of me. I f**king tell you that… That was rude when he did that to that girl, that Taylor Swift. So yeah, give me an award and see where it goes. It will roll out of his f**king arse.” 

7. On Beady Eye vs Oasis:

“Even though I love Beady Eye, I’d prefer to still be in Oasis, because that was my thing. Oasis was my life.”

6. On Mumford & Sons:

“They look like f**king Amish people. You know, them ones with the big sideys that don’t use electricity? Growing their own goods and putting barns up.”

5. On his strange love of tree-climbing:

“Climbed one the other day. I was running on the Heath and I thought, ‘that looks like a nice tree, I’m going to climb that fucking tree.’ Climbed it and sat there with my hood up for about 10 minutes."

4. On brother Noel:

“I like Noel outside the band. Human Noel – that’s my brother – I f**king adore him and I’d do anything for him. But the geezer that’s in this f**king business, he’s one of the biggest cocks in the universe.”

3. On people getting the wrong idea about him:

“I am a tender, beautiful and loving guy that happens to slap a photographer now and then because they get in my way.” 

2. On the love he has for his milkman:

“He’s fucking top, he gave me a pint of lactose-free milk for nothing the other day.”

1. On what he could have ended up doing:

“If I wasn’t a musician I don’t know. I’d be God, maybe? That would be a good job.”