1. First thing she does when she gets in the door after collecting you from the train/bus station or airport - stick on the apron
2. Starts every phone conversation with ‘What’s the weather like there?'…and then delivers a detailed day by day report on the weather at home
3. Wants to know what you want for dinner AT LEAST a week in advance before you come home
4. She HATES it when you suggest you do the cooking
5. She is borderline obsessed by what you have for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day
6. She is ever keen to update you on the lives of friends you haven’t seen since you were six years old - particularly their weddings/the birth of their children
7. Is always goading you towards the attic to sort out all the ‘mess’ up there
8. She seems to take some sick pleasure in telling you who has died since she saw you last
9. She’s constantly reminding you to write a Thank you/Get well/Congratulations card to your granny, aunty, cousin…
10. Conversations that begin with "You know such-and such from down the road" are likely to take hours and involve your mum reciting the complete genealogy of every family within a 10mile radius of your home.
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