Seven Irish county jokes to tickle your fancy
Life & Style

Seven Irish county jokes to tickle your fancy

EACH county in Ireland has its own store of jokes, its own brand of humour. Here's seven to tickle your fancy...

The Cavan cup of tea — never quite as you like it (Picture: iStock)The Cavan cup of tea — never quite as you like it (Picture: iStock)

Cavan

People in Cavan have a reputation for being ‘careful with a shilling’.

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They like their tea with two sugars, but few Cavan people ever enjoy it that way.

When they’re at home they have it with one sugar; when they’re out they have it with three.

Antrim

An old Protestant farmer was dying. But instead of asking for the local Presbyterian minister he asked to see the priest  - he’d decided to become a Catholic on his death bed.

His friend approached him and said; “Willie, what on earth are you playing at?”

Willie opened his eyes and said: “Ah, Billy, better that one of them goes than one of us.”

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A Waterford man was the first to split the atom — you may split your sides at an atomic joke (Picture: iStock)A Waterford man was the first to split the atom — you may split your sides at an atomic joke (Picture: iStock)

Waterford

In celebration of the Waterford man, Ernest Walton, who was the first man to split the atom, we have a scientific joke.

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender: "How much for a beer?"

The bartender replies: "For you, no charge."

Tipperary

A Tipperary man was stopped by a reporter coming out of an England V France Six Nations match.

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“Were you supporting England?” asks the reporter.

“Oh, Jayz no,” replied the Tipperary man.

“But, why not? Isn’t it about time you took a more mature attitude?”

“Eight hundred years of oppression,” replies the Tipperary man.

“But,” asks the reporter, “is there no time when you could imagine supporting England?”

The Tipperary man thought for a second or two, and replies: “Well, maybe when they’re playing Kilkenny.”

Kerry

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Question asked of a Kerry man: “Is it true when you ask a Kerry man a question he answers by asking another?

Kerry man: “Who told you that?"

Cork

Cork people are said to have high opinions of themselves as in...

An woman calls for help while on a day out at the beach: “Help, help, my son the doctor is drowning.”

The Kilkenny cats are known for their skill on the field and their love of the game
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Kilkenny

In sports-mad Kilkenny, this scenario is probably less of a joke and more of a true incident.

Picture, if you will, a restaurant or the like.

Customer: "Sorry, my son spilled the water."

Waiter: "No problem sir, I'll get you a new one."

Customer: [grabbing the waiter's arm] "Make sure this one likes hurling."