A HEARTBROKEN widow whose husband died after a failed heart transplant has vowed to raise £60,000 for the hospital who looked after him so well before his death.
Michael Grainger passed away last December following unsuccessful heart surgery.
His wife Ann has spent the past few months rebuilding her life without the man she has loved for 47 years.
And while she has lots of family around her for support, she admits there are times when the loss simply hits her out of the blue.
“Mick and I were together since I was 16, so about 47 years, and married for 43 of these,” Ann told The Irish Post.
“It was a blow to lose him, it was very hard, but nothing could be done,” she added.
“I’m lucky I have kids and grandkids around me,” she explained, “but then suddenly one thing will hit you and you crack up. It comes in waves — like when you are shopping, it’s difficult to get used to shopping for one person when you have been buying in bulk all your life.”
Having been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation — which causes an abnormally fast heart rate — 10 years ago, Michael’s condition was well maintained until last year, Ann explains.
But in July his health went downhill rapidly and he was fitted with a pacemaker before it was confirmed that he would need a heart transplant.
“Once we knew he was getting the heart transplant we were both ecstatic,” Ann admits.
“It was going to get the best outcome for Mick as far as we were concerned and I would still advise anybody to have one.”
The couple, based in Wootton Wawen in the outskirts of Birmingham, had to wait 16 weeks for a match to come up for Michael’s transplant and the 64-year-old was kept in at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Edgbaston during that period.
“There was a wait but that’s not due to a shortage of hearts,” said Ann, whose parents hail from counties Waterford and Wexford.
“It’s down to finding the right match.
“It has to be a strict match — to the point that the donor has to have had chicken pox if the recipient has had it,” she added.
“So when Mick got his match we were over the moon. We knew nothing of where the heart came from, and we didn’t want to know, Mick was just ready and waiting. After being in hospital that long you don’t really need any further preparation.”
On November 18, Michael underwent his transplant.
Sadly that was the last day that Ann would ever communicate with him, as he never regained consciousness after the surgery.
Eighteen days later, on December 5, he died.
“That transplant was a straightforward, four-hour operation, which is very well practiced at the QE,” Ann explained.
“But apparently the heart that Mick got was bruised in transit and that’s why he didn’t survive.”
She added: “They just couldn’t make the heart work and he never regained consciousness. He never came around. The last time I spoke to him was before they took him away and operated, I saw him after that too but he never came around — so we never communicated again in those 18 days.”
Despite still coming to terms with the loss, this year Ann has launched a fundraising appeal in her husband’s name which aims to raise £60,000 to purchase an ECMO (extracorporeal membrane oxygenator) machine for the QE Hospital.
“When Mick was in hospital he kept saying he wanted to give something back for how well they looked after him once he was released,” she explained.
“We never thought he would die, we always thought he would pull through, so when he did it was quite a shock, but it just makes me more determined to go ahead with the fundraising in his name.”
She added: “We want to raise enough money to buy an ECMO for the hospital, as while he was there Mick was on this machine for those 18 days.
“The hospital was renting that machine for £3,000 a day, but for £60,000 you can buy one, which is what we plan to do.”
Ann has already raised £3,000 for the Michael Grainger Memorial Charity campaign and a number of events are planned this year to help them reach their total.
“Mick was a great man, with a great personality, and a keen fisher who used to take fishing trips to Ireland about four times a year,” she said.
“He ran a building company here for the last 40 or so years, so he was well known locally and everybody has been really supportive so far.”
But Ann, who was born and raised in Birmingham, is confident she will raise the full amount this year.
“I will get this money, by hook or by crook, I will get this £60,000 and I will get this machine,” she said.
“When Mick was in hospital he was so well looked after, for the whole 16 weeks prior to the operation and the 18 days after. He had nurses by his bedside solidly. He couldn’t have been better cared for and I think you have to put a bit back in. They did everything to help Mick live and if I can help someone else live then I will,” she added.
While she embarks on her fundraising challenge Ann will continue to work on finding a new path for her own life, one without her soulmate.
“It’s difficult to get used to life without him,” the 62-year-old admits.
“It’s the little things, like going into the shop and buying a small bottle of milk, can you imagine that?
“I now know who buys those little bottles of milk — the little old ladies on their own.”
She adds: “It’s times like that that it hits home, plus the fact that I don’t buy blue cheese anymore. Mick loved blue cheese. I buy small portions of cheddar cheese now, instead of the great big slab of blue that he liked.”
