Of course we have to start the list with the most famous Irish insult of all time. Used all over the world by Irish immigrants, those with Irish ancestry and people who just picked up the majestic word through osmosis. What exactly is an eejit? Nobody really knows. But you better believe you’ll be called one if your actions have left an Irish person unimpressed.
Pronounced amadawn—this Irish insult was never anglicised because it does the job beautifully.
“Look at that eejit,” Irish person #1 says.
“Ah he’s a pure amadán,” Irish person #2 agrees.
An absolute classic. What an image it evokes from the mind’s eye: A hawk, covered in shite. That’s what you are. A feckin' shitehawk.
Another classic— but what exactly is a gombeen? Historically it meant a shady businessman, derived from the Irish word “gaimbín”, but now it’s used for anyone who’s acting the eejit.
6. CLEVER BOY/CLEVER GIRL
If you’re a man who’s done something less-than-intelligent, prepare to be called a clever boy, vice versa if you’re a woman. Usually accompanied by a derisive snort and a look of disbelief.
“You think GAA is shite? There’s a clever boy!”
Ah, gobshite. The old reliable. Everyone knows what we Irish mean by shite, and Gob is slang for mouth. So if you’re called a gobshite, you might consider accepting that you talk an awful amount of shite.
4. THE STATE OF YOU
“I’ve never been to America… but I’ve been in some states!”
Being described as being “in a state” can either mean you’re acting out of order or you are absolutely steaming drunk.
But if someone looks you up and down after you’ve just changed into your outfit for the evening and says “The state of you”, it means you’d better change into a different outfit sharpish—‘cos you look a state.
3. A FACE LIKE A BULLDOG LICKING PISS OFF A NETTLE
What a stinging insult! My God! My skin is crawling just writing it!
This can mean you’ve got a sour look on your face—or that you’re just ugly. Best to hope it’s the former.
See also: A face like a slapped arse.
A Limerick staple, given new life across the country by the hilarious Limerick comedy duo Rubberbandits. Beautifully flexible with a bunch of spin-offs: Gowlbag, Geebag, Gowlface, Gowlfaced Bastard.
1. DRY SHITE
Basically—you’re no craic. You might even be anti-craic. Because the overwhelming majority in Ireland are great craic, anyone who falls below standards will be henceforth known as a “Dry shite”. You do not, I repeat, DO NOT, want to be known as a Dry Shite.
If you didn't enjoy this post, there's every chance that you're a gowlfaced dry shite amadán with a gombeen face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle, in which case you can goway you shitehawk eejit-- the state of you anyway, you're only a gosbhite. *Derisive snort* Clever boy.