THIS week a survey from a rather dubious website named Miss Travel (which pairs up ‘attractive’ members who want to go on free holidays with its more ‘generous’ members) made headlines when it held a vote on the sexiest nationalities for men and women.
Armenian women (largely due to the Kardashian factor) were voted the world’s sexist, while the Irish topped the poll for men, but that’s where Miss Travel left it.
So, we’ve painstakingly picked up where they left off and produced a definitive list of the sexiest Irish men ever. And no, Niall Horan will never be on it.
Ireland's Top Ten Sexiest Men
1. Jamie Dornan
Man of the moment, Dornan is spotlight shy but not bashful enough that he won't strip down to his knickers for a photo shoot or sex scene. Also, people we know have met him and can confirm he’s ‘sound out’. HAWT.
The eyes that shoot beams of justice, the fiery temper that makes FAI officials wet their pants, the no-nonsense attitude to sandwich fillings and his love of dogs. Keane is one of the hottest men to ever come out of Ireland, just don't make him angry...
The alpha Irish sexy man. Who cares that he can’t even do a convincing Dublin accent despite the fact that HE COMES FROM DUBLIN. He’s talented and looks good with a crew cut (The Recruit), with a beard (The New World), as a cowboy (American Outlaws) and as a Cork fisherman (Ondine). Versatility is so, so sexy.
From the moment mean, moody and misunderstood Ross Poldark (played by dreamboat Aidan Turner) rode into Cornwall on his horse we knew it was love. Apparently, threshing enthusiasts (maybe that should be singular) complained to the BBC about the accuracy of Tuner's technique in his topless scene with a scythe. I didn't even notice he was holding one.
Floppy haired, belligerent, misanthropic Moran is a stone cold fox. Is it the world-weariness? Maybe. The allure of dating a messed up comic genuis? Probably. The fact that he is rarely on stage without a bowl of red wine? Absolutely. Unfortunately, Moran's married with children. See, all the good depressed ones are taken...
Too old? How very dare you! At almost 65, Byrne is still as sexy as ever. What's not to like about that weather-beaten face? Byrne is like a less cranky, but just as crinkly Sean Penn. But if you are really ageist, beholding a young Gabriel in Miller's Crossing will silence you, you little upstart!
7. Paul Galvin
Galvin is the enfant terrible of the GAA world (which doesn’t mean throwing TV sets out windows or run ins with the law) but I’m pretty sure he gouged someone in the eye one time. Gouging someone in the eye is bold, but with a face like lumberjack and a body like a wiry Kerry killing machine you’d find it in your heart to forgive him.
People go on and on about Cillian Murphy’s knife blade blue eyes, but I think that’s unfair. He also has excellent pouty lips and rather lovely hair. So cop on people, and start admiring all of his face. Also, my mum saw him running down the road when she was taking out the bins in Cork once and said he was ‘gorgeous’. Multi-generational appeal.
Actually I didn't really even fancy Liam Neeson that much until he started doing all this geri-action, hard man 'I will find you and I will kill you' business, which probably points to some unhealthy preferences or deep buried daddy issues on my part. I'll make an appointment with my therapist.
10. Pierce Brosnan
It would just be darn rude to leave the only ever Irish James Bond off the list, so here you go Pierce, you old smoothie. Our own 007 is truly one of the best things to ever come out of Navan (except the road to Dublin...yes, yes, I know).